When Your Bestie is Getting Married

When Your Bestie Is Getting Married

I have long tried to complete writing this, but either I got too emotional or plain lazy. But today I have decided to sit down and finish this. Watching the movie 'Veere Di Wedding' last weekend brought this piece to the fore. It was almost lost in the pile of blogging drafts. I think my drafts would win over the published posts any day now, if this continues! Well, all of that later. Let's talk about what you've got to do when your Veere is getting hitched.

Last year a dear school friend of mine got married. She was the first among my closest friends to tie the knot. Again this year another childhood friend got happily married, as yet another bestie in town shocked us with her upcoming engagement news. So these were surely tumultuous times heavy on emotions and other things, for us buddies. And here I present you tons of wisdom from my experience of handling my girls on their big day! Read along.

Poster from Bookmyshow

She is energetic and ecstatic but also sensitive and hysteric.

She might be busy for her best day. She might not have time for you, but bear it with patience. She knows you will be there and will soon come to talk with you stealing a bit of time from the busy schedule that weddings mostly are. She would sneak her way out, unbeknownst to you. But fret not if she doesn't. Not everyone likes being adventurous on the day of their marriage. Allow her not to be herself for once. It's her day, let her have all the wonderful memories, and the complaints. Click a lot of pictures. Don't delete the blurred, sloppy, and hilarious ones. Those are the best.

She is panicky and emotionally charged.

She's overwhelmed like most girls. Be prepared to handle a very delicately sensitive bestie. Don't get frightened yourself seeing her not being in her usual behavior. Take the situation in your stride. She might cry out of sudden burst of anger or break down at the slightest poking/ provocation. Emotions would be a tangled mess. Making her see reason would be tough. Prepare yourself. You have a lot of homework to do!

The Veeres

Bring down that pang of jealousy.

But don't beat yourself up for feeling so. It's natural to be jealous as someone else would make a larger part of her life now. New people. New families. And Mr.Husband. Old friends might take a back seat in the priority bus. It would feel like bidding a hundred farewells and  going through a hundred partings at the same time. But that's okay. Because it's all in your mind. She's not going away from you, just that she has a new person/s to be part of her life now.

A Scene From Veere Di Wedding (Source: dnaindia.com)

Plan. Everything. From work leaves to tickets to gifts.

Make sure you apply for that leave well in advance. With all of us busy in our careers, and studies, charting our path in our jobs, lives have changed from those of the college days. For some, time zones have changed too. So make sure, first and foremost, you make time for the wedding day. Take care of tickets and travel details days ahead. Choose the gifts well and in advance. Last minute rushes are the worst. Let it be unique and show your love and adulation. And of course, hold against the test of time. A little bit of PDA here doesn't hurt. Give your eyes a good massage. The tear ducts are gonna wear them out. The madness that weddings are, you girls need to be prepared for all the last moment changes.

And then call in timely and be in touch. It may not be possible to call at 2 am for discussing your personal troubles anymore, but know that the person is the same. Marriage does not change the person inside. So don't think too much into it. Friendships last. And like they say, friendships more than 7 years old last a lifetime.


  1. I can so relate to this post because a lot of my friends are getting married too! But you know what is annoying about attending friends weddings? Parents and everyone else asking "Look she got married. When are you getting married?"

    1. That's so true. :P Annoys every single time. :D But then expecting the question is a game too. :P

  2. There's so much involved in a wedding, and so many emotions. Wonderful post on the friend of the bride!

    1. Thank you so much :) :D Glad you enjoyed it.

  3. Friend of the bride- that's a tough role to play especially when you are not married. Friends of the bride/groom are a new phenomenon in today's weddings which have seen a marked change from the days when they were purely family and relatives affairs. The friend of the Bride is expected to pull her weight especially if the bride has no sister. You've shared some lovely tips for friends of brides to be..... One thing you forgot to mention was that 'aunts' and other 'close relatives' often feel displaced by friends of the bride. Beware of ruffling the feathers of these biddies..... they can be quite formidable!

    1. That's true. Many rituals have changed too. Mehendi and sangeet were unheard of in my mother's times in Odisha. Now no wedding is complete without these ceremonies.
      Friends have become an integral part, and relatives have become way more distanced in some ways these days. I didn't think about them feeling displaced. That's a new perspective for me too.
      Glad you enjoyed the post. :)

  4. Your post reminded me of the time when my friend got married. It is a bittersweet feeling. You are happy for them but feeling sad that they are going to be far. Enjoyed reading this one.


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Queeristan by Parmesh Sahani

  Queeristan (Amazon Link) Thanks to Audible Free Trial I listened to this amazing non-fiction on LGBTQ inclusion in Indian workplaces. Author Parmesh Sahani identifies as gay Indian, working closely with Godrej higher management and employees for years to create an inclusive workplace, both legally and in spirit. This book is a result of those years of experience, research, collaboration with individuals from difference spectrum of the society and organizations who has successfully transitioned into a queer friendly one.   Indian history is inclusive. From the Khajuraho temple architectures, to Konark to the Rig Veda, there is existing proofs even 2000 years ago of Indian inclusiveness of queer. It’s the draconian British law that criminalised it, which was scraped in 2009, came into effect once again following a sad judgement in 2013 and eventually was scraped off for good in 2018. I am in awe of the lawyers who fought this legal battle- colleagues and partners – Arundhati Katju

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