I Love My Love By Reyna Biddy

A book of poetry is never as you expect it to be. The foreword and preface made me request this book, and I thank Netgalley for this beautiful read. The introduction to the book was so full of wretched emotions that it choked me speechless; it spoke of pain, heartbreaks, and aches that dulled over time but never really went away. I knew I was in for a very emotional and cathartic experience. I knew I was about to learn the poet’s most vulnerable self, read the deepest corners of her heart through her work. All masterpieces come from a place of pain. And you can never ignore that which overwhelms you, gets on your nerves, reverberates in your mind, echoes your own being and leaves you with the lump in the throat.

The prosaic poetry evoked memories of numerous helpless incidents in my life. There’s repressed hurt in the verses. There are confessions of deep-seated love inspite of all the hurt. There are regrets and guilt. And finally, yet unbelievably, there was liberation and cleansing of the soul through all the pain that life bestowed upon. The final letting go of things that is but extra baggage. The final love of self, instead of seeking love outside. The tone of the poems change from being caught up in life to owning it all up.

I personally like the quotable ones in the book – “love is a beautiful thing, but without respect- it’s an ugly habit.”

Some pages feel like reading someone’s personal diary or journal. And there are lists-’10 reasons I could never leave’ and love notes after every few chapters dedicated to loved ones and self.

“You taught me things about life and me… And how deep I can get before I ever let love inside of me. And how sometimes it’s okay to collapse. Sometimes it’s okay to relapse. Sometimes it’s okay to miss everything you once were and sometimes it’s okay to dip into the past… but only if you’re ready to be the beautiful tragedy. I’m ready to be the beautiful tragedy.”

“I’ve memorized the melody between your every heartbeat, just so I could sing it back if you ever get lonely. I...learned the gaps between your fingers, just in case you ever need a hand...I made sure mine fit perfectly.”

The entire book thrives in small letters- the title, the stanzas; the quotes- all begin and end with small letters. Somewhere without caps, we reach to the roots, we reach the seemingly small beginnings and learn to fly and elevate with the emotions that make us whole.

I loved the poems-'my mother’s interlude’, ‘the love note my mother never wrote me’,  ‘my father’s interlude’

“If I could be around your whole life, during your loneliest nights, I would pick up your chin. I would let you know how amazing you are from within. You know.. God has a funny way of putting the fiercest fire in our souls just to see the breakdown during our emptiest alone. Just to see the breakthrough once we love ourselves back to whole.”

Linking the post with UBC .


My Last Trip Before Lockdown

When Covid19 had just put its foot in the country with only 3 cases in Kerala, we had our Ooty trip planned. All tickets and bookings were done since the new year. With just three days in hand, four of us travelled from Mumbai, Pune and Bhubaneswar, to Kempegowda International Airport, Bengaluru, to join a few others staying in the city. And the excitement to finally meet one another after 6 months of that trip to Pune, the Lohagard Trek- we were kids excitedly clicking selfies in our face masks, hurriedly putting a quick dab of sanitizer before hugging one another.

Next day early morning we were to start for Ooty. Sleepy heads, gulping a bowl each of muesli, we started onward journey to Bandipur National Park. Devouring uttapams, dosas and piping hot cups of coffee for breakfast at a restaurant by the highway, chit chats were full on, as was the music and dance in the 12-seater vehicle. Funny anecdotes had us laughing our hearts out, gossips were such a thrill and cooking recipe exch…

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