Talking of Deep and Personal

Source: Pinterest

There's something very intimate and personal about someone touching your hair, and especially washing your long tresses. It is awkward and a bit bothersome sometimes. It seems closed, uncharted territory. In the salon or parlor this seems the most natural thing in the world, but outside the doors, touching the hair needs more familiarity than just permission. This has been going on in my mind since yesterday morning after I had had hair spa.

There's also something deep and personal about someone combing your hair. Just this simple act can bring even strangers together, at least that's what I think. It gives you- the person with the comb, a protective instinct- an empathy, towards the other person. It's strange yet connecting. And the other person does allow you to make her feel safe and secure. My mother and I bond over hair massages and combing. My sister gets immensely excited when I let her experiment hair styles, especially do hair plaits on me. My grandma takes great delight in applying coconut/amla or jojoba oil on my hair and doing a champi. Generations bond over this simple act.

Another simple act that seems intimate and personal to me is sharing earphones. When the person with the music system- mostly a smartphone and earplugs, decides to share a cord with you, as you are sitting beside him/her, he decides to reveal a chunk of the inner workings of his mind with you. A person's taste in music tells a great deal about himself. You understand him more than you ever did through conversations. Conversations are mostly facts, if the level of acquaintance is new and initial, it's never deep. To delve deeper, sharing his favourite song, and  artist is a starter. Yet, personally, this act of peeping into someone's hidden side seems daunting. You never know what you'd find, what you'd feel, what you'd see. I'm more likely to refuse if someone offers me the same, though I try not to do so. Knowing someone is tempting, yet scary. It's like I am witnessing someone's special side, not knowing how to react or handle it. It's heavy.

And if I can list some more- tying shoelaces and sharing tiffins are included here too. We all would agree that school friendships happened over sharing food and eating gluttonously from one another's tiffin box.

What's your version of deep and personal? What makes you connect more with strangers and acquaintances? I would love to know your views. Do share in comments.

Linking this up with #MondayMusings


Queeristan by Parmesh Sahani

  Queeristan (Amazon Link) Thanks to Audible Free Trial I listened to this amazing non-fiction on LGBTQ inclusion in Indian workplaces. Author Parmesh Sahani identifies as gay Indian, working closely with Godrej higher management and employees for years to create an inclusive workplace, both legally and in spirit. This book is a result of those years of experience, research, collaboration with individuals from difference spectrum of the society and organizations who has successfully transitioned into a queer friendly one.   Indian history is inclusive. From the Khajuraho temple architectures, to Konark to the Rig Veda, there is existing proofs even 2000 years ago of Indian inclusiveness of queer. It’s the draconian British law that criminalised it, which was scraped in 2009, came into effect once again following a sad judgement in 2013 and eventually was scraped off for good in 2018. I am in awe of the lawyers who fought this legal battle- colleagues and partners – Arundhati Katju

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