Goodbye - A Take on Grief



This movie has attempted to delve into topics that perhaps not many bollywood movies had done before. Death of a family member and how the family deals with it. There is grief, guilt, people advising different things, a business going on for funeral rites and rituals, the hullabaloo and elaborate customs that make little sense to someone who has not seen or known it before. There is this underlying strife between religious customs and scientific logic. And the uninitiated youth of the family goes through a lot of emotional upheaval trying to make sense of it all. Coming to terms with the traditions, accepting that performing the rituals is someone’s form of solace, there might be an explanation that we do not know of yet, was shown deftly, and with kindness and compassion in the movie. They have handled emotions, as raw as grief, and confusion that comes with it so well. I have cried buckets during this movie, but I also loved it in its entirety, it is truly made with so much love. We feel the adulation the characters had for the departed. 


It is so true that all we are left with in this world are stories. Stories are eternal. They tend to live beyond us. Let us remember the stories. Those tales, narratives and live them again. Loving memories. The closing song is so reverberating and so uplifting. “ Jai Kal Mahakal” - Grief is a complex journey. The movie manages to wade through the confusion, angst, emotional struggle, and guilt for the characters and at least arrives at acceptance of the demise of their beloved. Grief itself is a long journey, but the movie ends on a good note. And the comic relief in between, make the movie light hearted at times of emotional stress. Comic reprises are so important to make such a heavy theme palatable, accessible, and feel-good even. I would say it is successful in bringing an almost taboo topic as death and beyond, into our interpersonal conversations, not just a matter to be ignored, or discouraged to talk about. 


It is so important to have a family, and have them near. Grief has to be shared, to journey through it a bit better. We all are emotional beings. 



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Queeristan by Parmesh Sahani

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  Queeristan (Amazon Link) Thanks to Audible Free Trial I listened to this amazing non-fiction on LGBTQ inclusion in Indian workplaces. Author Parmesh Sahani identifies as gay Indian, working closely with Godrej higher management and employees for years to create an inclusive workplace, both legally and in spirit. This book is a result of those years of experience, research, collaboration with individuals from difference spectrum of the society and organizations who has successfully transitioned into a queer friendly one.   Indian history is inclusive. From the Khajuraho temple architectures, to Konark to the Rig Veda, there is existing proofs even 2000 years ago of Indian inclusiveness of queer. It’s the draconian British law that criminalised it, which was scraped in 2009, came into effect once again following a sad judgement in 2013 and eventually was scraped off for good in 2018. I am in awe of the lawyers who fought this legal battle- colleagues and partners – Arundhati Katju

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