All That Makes Us Human: An incoherent diary entry

Let's talk about boundaries. How do we understand and realize our boundaries in a relationship? Parent, sibling, partner, friend- which ever relation might it be, how do we put a finger on what is an excess? How much exactly is too much? Tracking your daughter’s phone without her permission- is it okay or are you over protecting? Or are you crossing a moral boundary of privacy? Calling your partner repetitively in the middle of the night to ramble your emotional dilemmas, without a bother about his/her sleep cycle and health- isn’t it a misplaced sense of entitlement? It’s a child’s behaviour, seeking attention and importance, in my opinion. Imposing on your friend, seeking more of her time than she can spare, since she has to go back home to her partner, are your boundaries in their right place? The more you justify your behaviour, the more you are at fault. A person plays a lot of roles- someone’s child, sibling, roommate, and so on. He’s an individual too. We have to set boundaries for our own selves, and respect others’ too, for each of these tiny yet important worlds in our lives to thrive in peace. Let’s start by saying ‘No’ to things we don’t want to do.

In other news, I have been amazed and wow-ed by this awesome podcast on Spotify, called 'Love Aaj Kal' hosted by Ankit and Aastha. They both are amazing amazing people!! Yes, I have concluded that over just a few episodes. Vibes speak. They are so non-judgemental. They don't beat about the bush. They give perspective to so many things tough to articulate or express. Without being even a tad bit judgemental. We need a platform like this in today's world, where even after it being 21st century and modern India, some subjects are still considered taboo. They have covered topics like toxic relationships, how to recognize Miss/Mr.Wrongs, moving on, consent, gaslighting, online dating, sexual identities and the entire spectrum of it- pansexual, demisexual, asexual- there's no subject that they are not open to discuss about. Ankit and Aastha have become these wonderful people to me through the podcast who are so sensitive, emotionally intelligent and non-judgmental beings, that listening to their thoughts just feels so nice. 

I have been lucky in the department of people that have come into my life. People I surround myself with. I have such incredibly empathetic friends, family, siblings, cousins, teachers and co-workers. Each one of them have given a positive turn to my thoughts. They are kind. Very sensitive. And understanding. Considerate. Unimposing. My friends realise distance and life changes our priorities, and we can’t be in touch that often. But they don’t take this to heart, and for that I am so grateful. Talking over the phone once a week, or once a month, doesn’t feel that different- we just have more things piled up for sharing. And we burst out every time we talk. It’s just information overload. We enjoy it to bits too.

Thanks for reading my incoherent thoughts.

Till next time!!


Queeristan by Parmesh Sahani

  Queeristan (Amazon Link) Thanks to Audible Free Trial I listened to this amazing non-fiction on LGBTQ inclusion in Indian workplaces. Author Parmesh Sahani identifies as gay Indian, working closely with Godrej higher management and employees for years to create an inclusive workplace, both legally and in spirit. This book is a result of those years of experience, research, collaboration with individuals from difference spectrum of the society and organizations who has successfully transitioned into a queer friendly one.   Indian history is inclusive. From the Khajuraho temple architectures, to Konark to the Rig Veda, there is existing proofs even 2000 years ago of Indian inclusiveness of queer. It’s the draconian British law that criminalised it, which was scraped in 2009, came into effect once again following a sad judgement in 2013 and eventually was scraped off for good in 2018. I am in awe of the lawyers who fought this legal battle- colleagues and partners – Arundhati Katju

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