All those moments in life that leave an impression, leave you in deep thought,and contemplation.
Find book reviews for reading that feeds the soul. Personal experiences, travel stories- for spirituality is a daily pursuit. Movie and art, as what works better therapy than these.
Sharing my inspirations, write-ups and artsy creations.
Book and film reviews and random abstruse musings.
I don’t know what to write about. Well, there is a lot to write about though. The month of December 2018 brought in so many new experiences in my life, that I ought to write about them. But I don’t know where to begin. Well, for one, I am afraid. I am afraid that the tumultuous emotions that I have been long evading, ignoring, shutting out could overwhelm me before I could even attempt to put them in words coherently. I am afraid that the more I try to reason things, make sense of events that occurred, the more I would confuse myself. Maybe that’s the reason it has been difficult to write all these days, even when all I wanted to do was write- jot down all those thoughts that trespassed my conscious mind. I still don’t know what to type, where to start, but I’ll make an honest attempt. A vulnerably honest one.
The sound of typing feels so familiar. I wonder why I had been away from words and blogging for so long. Certain someone had said that I reside too much inside my own mind and that I must come out of it and spend more time in the reality, in the real world, talking to people, making friends and creating connections. Perhaps that statement had affected me so much that I had almost taken conscious steps so as not to pick up a book near me, lest I should get consumed in it, heart and mind. That statement held so much weight, I couldn’t even reason against it. I had taken decisions not to watch another rom-com or read another love story or invest time in tragic tales for the time being. In the process, I realize now, I let go of my depth, my reflective attitude, contemplative states, my very own thoughts or views, basically every single thing that made me, me. And how stupid I was to do so. How very stupid. Just to fit into someone’s idea of me. Just to get that validation from someone. How pathetic. When did I ever become too weak and needy? I disappoint myself.
When expectation meets reality, heartbreak happens. But I did dare greatly, you know. I did take that plunge out of my comfort zone. I did give it a chance when I didn’t trust it well. I learned that happiness isn’t in being someone else or pretending to enjoy things that you normally don’t, or in trying to change yourself in the most fundamental and intimate aspects. Happiness is in embracing your true vulnerable self, however unappreciated it is. People will always have several unfavorable adjectives to use for you. It will displease you. Make you sad. Those might be true as well. But once you try to change your core being, it’s like challenging the universe. The universe wants you, not someone’s imagined version of you.
At the end of it all, life is about numerous experiences. Heartbreaks and learnings. And for me the learning at the end of it all is to trust my gut feeling and intuition more, it’s more accurate than I ever give it credit for.
The new year would bring so many new experiences with it, so many heartbreaks too. I will try to be open to love and life, such experiences shouldn’t affect my nature or the depth of my being.
In this winter vacation, I explored so much of Dehradun. This city indeed has so much to offer.
Empress Ki is the most elaborate, gripping, and thrilling series I have watched this year. And at 51 episodes, it is the longest Korean drama series I have ever watched. Even though the number seems daunting and too much, it’s worth it all. If you like period dramas, you won’t want to give this one a miss.
It was in 2016 that I first read about Empress Ki, the historical drama that had garnered much praise and accolades from the audience and critics alike. Most Korean dramas are just 16 or 20 episodes long. So 51 seemed never-ending to me then. It wasn’t until 2017 that I decided to at least try the first episode. And I was hooked. But owing to the various circumstances I didn’t continue watching it. It was just last month that I remembered this epic story and watched it to completion within just a few days. Believe it or not, midway through it, I was almost literally pulling my hair out, in anticipation of what would happen next.
I would have given this magnum opus 10/10 had it stopp…
I have always been the one to leave first. Be it luck or circumstance, it has always been this way. Some of the times it has been my decision to venture out of my comfort zone first before all my peers decide to do the same and I am left behind, alone in the old world. The decisions are out of fear of being left alone, most of the times. Or is it self-preservation instead?
I am a person who takes time to adapt, make new friends, get accustomed to new surroundings- an unlikely one to leave first- yet I do. You might think me selfish, but I am just afraid, and I decide to take care of myself first. Some might see this as a major risk-taking attitude, but I mostly see it as fleeing before the 'desertion' hits me instead. Now that's a strong word indeed. I am always in search of safe ground, always so insecure and calculating my moves lest I end up being alone on the island.
Paranoiac. Several things bother me at once. What if my peers get on with their lives leaving me behi…
"When the ego dies, the soul awakes." - Mahatma Gandhi
Why do you have such a huge ego? You cannot wear your family's name on your sleeve as an identity forever. The world wouldn't see you through the eyes of your parents who have pampered you so much for the better part of your life. Here in the real world, you will get what you give. Respect begets respect. Selfishness begets selfishness. Hate begets hate. And your 'i don't care', 'i don't give a damn', 'i am paying money for that', 'i will do as I please' attitude will give you the same.
Respect is earned. Agreed. But you should give it first to earn it back. The other person should and must be respected by default despite his class, caste, job and family background, until and unless he proves unworthy of it with time. I stand strongly by this belief.
There can be no excuse for disregard. The way you speak to me about people tells me the way you might be speaking about me t…
July has been a special month for me. Not just because it is my birthday month, but because many new beginnings, many fresh starts, and many turning points of my life have happened in July. It's mid of the year when I have looked back at what the year was like for the first six months and have anticipated and dreamt about the coming six months. Goals and resolutions are reviewed in July.
These initial days of college are all about fun, making interactions, creating friendships and increasing your network. It's less on course works and assignments. So we are trying to take full advantage of it. I have made a few friends at the hostel too, most of them are my juniors, with a huge age gap. But the good news is none of us can feel this gap. We visited the Forest Research Institute this weekend. It was a good trip. I stopped at almost every tree to take a snap and posed at every corner of the museum clicking selfies. Too much beauty in a single place. Beauty overloaded. The view of t…
Horse riding was no cake walk for me.
I feigned ignorance for months about the rule for Princesses to learn to tackle a beast like that. For weeks I would hide somewhere innocently when it was time for the lessons. The experts appointed for this task left their posts within weeks. Hah! I would make each one leave. It’s a war now, between my father - The King and me.
One morning I spotted a rather young man near the stables. The maids were gossiping how handsome he was. Some whispered he was a year or two senior to me. Huh! He must have just graduated then. Father is appointing amateurs now, I see. Had I not been home-schooled, I would have known school life for myself.
I chose the haystacks in the courtyard of the servants’ quarters to hide that day, much pleased with my choice. The sky was beautiful and so were the house-sparrows. Just as I admired my surroundings, a head popped in front of me from nowhere.
“So here you are. You’re late for your classes. Let’s go now,” he pulled …
Odia is my mother
tongue but I had never really focussed on Odia novels, given that I love
reading. Of late I realised that I should explore the culture and language of
my native land, and see for myself whether it suits my reading sensibilities. I
read “Jagyaseni” by Pratibha Ray a few years back, over a span of several
months. It is a retelling of Mahabharata from Draupadi’s perspective, which
brings about her inner turmoils, confusions, decisions, desires and dreams,
really well. It was the first Odia novel I ever read. Three days back, I
completed reading my second novel in Odia, coincidentally it is by the same
author. “Punyatoya” - literally it means the river, or ‘as pure as the river’.
It is also the name of a revered river in Indian mythology. The book has been
translated into Hindi with the same title, with the tagline “the story of a
village girl Meghi”. Other translated versions are in Marathi and Malayalam. The story follows a
young girl named Barsha, dearly called Meghi at…
One Friday evening, as I was feeling a bit lonely and homesick with nothing much to do, not even strolling on the terrace viewing the ever so beautiful mountains since it was raining hard- thus it also contributing to my gloomy mood, I decided to watch Before Sunrise. Yes, once again. A first for me. I rarely re-watch a movie. Yearning for a light-hearted yet meaningful conversation this was the best choice I had. My hostel mates were out in the city and all the people I called up were busy. Luck by chance. Thanks to the superb uninterrupted internet connection I had a great 1 hour 40 minutes that evening.
"Experiencing the otherworldly. When morning comes, we would all turn into pumpkins."
Even though it sounds like a cliche today, unplanned trips, adventures in life, serendipity and providence are romantic. Before Sunrise has all of these, when strangers indulge in light conversations, grow intrigued about each other's lives, and spend time in each other's company …