The Play of Consciousness

Our own consciousness plays numerous games- one cannot distinguish when one is totally conscious or is subconscious or unconscious. An illusion creates itself in each of these phases. When you are conscious, this illusion lasts longer; when subconscious, illusion is a bit shorter in length. But the illusions are the best when unconscious. We call the conscious world as reality; the subconscious world as imagination (or daydream); and the unconscious world as dream. But the true fact is that all of them are illusions indeed. When you are wide awake, alert, and in the present; you say that you are in the real world. But when deep in sleep, even dreams appear and feel as real as that. Only after you wake up, you realize that it was but a dream. So, then what is the conclusion? The conclusion or the inference- as we call it is that, thoughts make the world we live in.

Remember that story “Going Places”, prescribed in ISC syllabus. In Sophie’s case, her imagination or subconscious world was getting blurred with her real world. She couldn’t differentiate between her thoughts- which ones belong to the real world and which ones to the imaginary world. Her confusion finally aggravated, and led to disappointment and depression.

Nothing of such has happened in my case and I am sure that it won’t ever happen. But there is a deep desire to escape—escape from this conscious life—the real world, and get entrapped in the subconscious or the unconscious world. I always search for ways to entrap myself in imaginations and dreams. Well, people may call me a coward. May be I actually am so. Every time reality feels disturbing, boring or depressing, I try to find solace in sub consciousness or unconsciousness. Virtuality in numerous ways finds place in our day to day lives. Without it, living would have been impossible. How many times have I not tried to disentangle myself from the clutches of the real life ties? How many times have I not escaped, or say plunged into novels, serials, films, and sleep. Every rhythm of the song you hear creates an illusion in itself and takes you to the other world; every time you have a nap, your mind journeys miles away to a different locale, different atmosphere with different people, sights, customs, culture—a whole new world. Every time you watch a movie, you get engrossed in it—its characters, its theme, story, plot and you feel as it makes you feel. You feel a lump in your throat when sad and you laugh when you are happy (when its characters are happy). You are not what you used to be in the real world.

They say that the Past is dead, and the Future is unborn. But the Past always lives in form of memories in your subconscious being, and the Future is always anticipated or imagined. These facets of life are difficult to understand.


Queeristan by Parmesh Sahani

  Queeristan (Amazon Link) Thanks to Audible Free Trial I listened to this amazing non-fiction on LGBTQ inclusion in Indian workplaces. Author Parmesh Sahani identifies as gay Indian, working closely with Godrej higher management and employees for years to create an inclusive workplace, both legally and in spirit. This book is a result of those years of experience, research, collaboration with individuals from difference spectrum of the society and organizations who has successfully transitioned into a queer friendly one.   Indian history is inclusive. From the Khajuraho temple architectures, to Konark to the Rig Veda, there is existing proofs even 2000 years ago of Indian inclusiveness of queer. It’s the draconian British law that criminalised it, which was scraped in 2009, came into effect once again following a sad judgement in 2013 and eventually was scraped off for good in 2018. I am in awe of the lawyers who fought this legal battle- colleagues and partners – Arundhati Katju

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